


All The King's Horses

by LadyDanielle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Merlin's Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 06:59:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16279853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDanielle/pseuds/LadyDanielle
Summary: Canonfest fic for Season 5 "The Disir"Arthur has one of the biggest decisions of his reign to work through. Save Mordred or bring magic back to Camelot?Merlin gives him his opinion but Arthur doesn't believe him.





	All The King's Horses

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the mods running this amazing fest! I'm glad I had time to whip up something even if it isn't super long.
> 
> Thanks to my stellar beta ThisMaz for her quick and spot-on editing and for always helping me strive to be a better writer. I've missed you and so glad you helped out for this!

“How did you know this place was sacred?”

 

“That’s obvious,” Merlin replied, kneeling down to place the bundle of branches beside the crackling fire. These would keep it burning most of the night. It was early autumn so the evening would be chilly but not too cold.

 

“Pretend it isn’t.”

 

“Everything here is so full of life.” Merlin sat down and gazed around the wooded campsite feeling the magic seep into him from the earth below; the branches above. Even as he breathed in, the magic here was like a curtain surrounding the Disir’s cave and settling like a blanket over this spot and all the creatures who inhabited it. “Every tree, every leaf, every insect. It’s as if the world is vibrating, as if everything is much more than itself.”

 

“You feel all that?” Arthur asked. He was stretched comfortably atop his blanket, hands behind his head like he hadn’t a care in the world. Like he wasn’t trying to decide the fate of a favorite knight, or the possibility of allowing magic back into Camelot.

 

“Don’t you?” At the shake of Arthur’s head, he snapped back to himself. What was he thinking, revealing so much? It must be the intoxication of this magical setting.

 

He stood and walked over to his bedroll already laid out on the other side of the fire. Dusk was settling in but he could still clearly see Arthur’s worried expression. “What will you do?”

 

“I don’t know.” He fidgeted with the ties on his tunic. “My heart says do anything I can to save Mordred. But I have seen what misery unfettered sorcery can bring.”

 

It was like a knife through Merlin’s heart. Arthur’s fear of magic. And it was his fault. All these years of saving lives and helping the kingdom and Arthur still had no idea.

 

“Before my father outlawed magic, Camelot was almost destroyed by sorcery. In my own time, Morgana’s used it for nothing but evil. What would you do? In my place?”

 

“Me?” Merlin paused in surprise. “I’m just a lackey; maker of beds.”

 

“Lackey’s can be wise,” Arthur returned, with a tilt of his head. He narrowed his eyes and Merlin knew he was sizing him up. He’d seen that look on Arthur many times at court or at a council meeting, working out his advantage and drawing his opponent into conceding to whatever point he was trying to win.

 

Only there was no winning in this conversation. There was no way out for Merlin. How could he admit that gods, yes! He wanted magic to return to Camelot? Or that Mordred’s death might be the exact thing that would keep Arthur alive?

 

“It’s not like you to _be_ silent,” Arthur said in that tone he used when knew his opponent’s next move and swooped in for checkmate.

 

Merlin blurted, “The kingdom’s future is at stake.” But his voice sounded broken even to his own ears.

 

“And a man’s life.”

 

“You must protect Camelot, you must protect the world you’ve spent your life building. A just and fair kingdom for all.” Merlin’s thoughts and feelings were swirling around like in leaf in a storm.

 

“You’d have me sacrifice a friend,” Arthur said wearily, clearly not the outcome he had desired.

 

Merlin tried to think of something to say that would take the focus off Mordred. This was Camelot’s future they were discussing. Did one man mean so much to Arthur that he would give up his hardened views of magic to save him?  “I would have you become the king you are destined to be.”

 

Arthur leaned forward, and looked as serious as Merlin had ever seen him. “If I do save Mordred, all my father’s work will be for nothing. Sorcery will reign in Camelot once again. Is that what you’d want?”

 

Arthur pinned him with his blue eyes, seeking, waiting for Merlin’s opinion. But Merlin was coming undone from the weight. The weight of everything he had been trying to fix as it spun out of control no matter what he did. The weight of hiding who he really was and what magic meant to him. The weight of lying to Arthur. He was afraid to open his mouth lest his emotional storm come spilling out in a river of tears, or worse; the truth.

 

“Perhaps my father was wrong. Perhaps the old ways aren’t as evil as we thought.”

 

Arthur speaking these words should have been like birdsong on a spring day. It was what he wanted and needed to hear. This was his time to guide magic back into the kingdom. He had waited so long, so many years. But, how could he when the threat of Mordred was right in front of him. Wasn’t that more important than the return of magic? Arthur’s life meant everything. Everything. Even more than magic, though it was tearing a hole into his soul to deny the very thing he was made of.

 

“So what should we do? Accept magic or let Mordred die?” Arthur asked softly.

 

Merlin raised his watery eyes to Arthur’s and they held there for a moment. How could he lie to this beautiful man who was so open and honestly trying to do the right thing? Yet...how could he not protect him with every breath in his body? He would protect him. Even at the sacrifice of magic once again.

 

“There can be no place for magic in Camelot.” The words, when they came out, felt like shards of glass. Harsh and cold and definitive. His head felt dizzy and detached. If only he could sink into the earth and away from here. But destiny is a troublesome thing.

 

Arthur frowned but kept watching him, as he slowly leaned back again against his bedroll. He sat staring intensely at Merlin for several silent minutes. Then he folded his hands and rested his chin on them as if in deep thought.

 

Merlin looked down at the fire, trying to get his emotions under control and keep his tears from spilling over. He startled when he heard slow clapping from across the fire.  
  
  
Merlin glanced up to the king’s narrowed eyes and suspicious expression as he finished his applause. “That was a stellar performance, Merlin.”

 

Merlin flinched. “You almost had me believing you.” Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but was stopped by Arthur’s raised finger. “Think very carefully before speaking,” Arthur warned. “I’ve known you a long time now. I’ve heard some tales come out of your mouth. I’ve heard some downright lies. But in what... ten years?” He looked around the campsite. “I’ve never seen the the look on your face that I was just witness too.” Arthur tapped his fingers on the log beside him in what looked like impatience but could have been anger.

 

Merlin froze in fear and exhausted emotion and like a trapped hare, he could only stare back dumbly.

 

Arthur sat up and turned his eyes toward the fire and said sternly, “Whatever has you in this state, and honestly this has been going on for some time, needs telling...Whatever you have been keeping from me must really be something or you would have been jabbering it in my ear like you usually do.” Arthur sighed and looked out into the night away from their camp. “I’m trying to make one of the biggest decisions of my reign. I need all the facts Merlin. I need...” he trailed off and Merlin watched mesmerized as Arthur turned back toward him with a pleading look. “I need... you. I need you to stand beside me and tell me the truth, Merlin.”

 

The tears slid down Merlin’s cheeks, hot and heavy with guilt and love for this man.

 

“Arthur,” he finally managed to breath out, regaining his composure.

 

“Tell me. Whatever it is, just tell me.”

 

Merlin looked out across the clearing, contemplating what, exactly, he should tell his king. Maybe he could find something to help this situation without exposing all of his secrets. “There is a druid prophecy,” he continued, talking out toward the night. “That a druid will...”

  
“Will?” Arthur prompted.

  
“Will be the downfall of the Once and Future King,” Merlin quickly finished.

 

“And?”

 

“And that druid is Mordred.”

 

Arthur sighed. “And I imagine I am the Once and Future King?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So, you’ve heard a story that a druid will kill this king and you’ve somehow decided that Mordred, one of my truest knights, the man who is dying because he tried to save me, is the one who is destined to kill me,” Arthur concluded, but his tone wasn’t mocking. Merlin turned to look at him and found his expression open. Arthur held his hands out in expectation for Merlin to continue.

 

“I know it sounds hard to believe. But, these are reliable sources that say it is true.” Merlin frowned.

 

Arthur rubbed his hands slowly over his face, as he did when frustrated. “Merlin, do you _actually_ believe magic is evil or did you say that because of the,” he swirled his hand in a circular motion. “...Mordred thing?”  
  


Merlin sucked in a breath and tried to figure out how to answer but must have waited too long because Arthur looked directly at him and said, “I see.”  
  
The king stood and walked over to stir the fire. He kneeled and poked around with a large stick causing the embers to flare, then set a larger piece of wood on top. “When I decided to use magic to heal my father, I didn’t know if I was being courageous or foolish.” He sat down beside Merlin, keeping his eyes on the fire. “Gwen said I should trust my instincts. I told her I didn't believe that everyone who practices magic is evil. That we should stop treating them like they are, out of fear.”

 

Merlin sat completely still, heart pounding as he stared at the man beside him, afraid if he moved Arthur would stop talking.

 

“Maybe our judgement has been clouded and we’ve created the hatred by our own actions. You think magic can be...good?”

 

“I...I think magic is a force that is neither good nor evil,” Merlin said. “But I have seen good magic.” Arthur turned to look at him, his expression a bit skeptical. “What about Leon? If not for the Cup of Life and the druids, he would be dead. They healed him, with magic.”

 

Arthur nodded and added, “Yes, and the unicorn. It did cause Camelot strife, but that was my own doing.” He frowned. “There was one time when _something_ saved me. When I went to retrieve the Morteous flower... a light... helped me. I thought it was someone watching over me. It was definitely magic.”

 

Merlin continued watching Arthur in the firelight hoping this conversation was going to end well.

 

“And what about in Ealdor? Will conjured that windstorm to chase Kanen’s men away!” Arthur said.

 

“Will.. yes.” Merlin’s thoughts returned to that time when he couldn’t save his friend and Will had taken the blame for the magic.

 

“What did you mean magic is neither good nor evil?”

 

Merlin reached over into his rucksack and drew out his small knife. Holding it up to Arthur he said, “This knife is a tool. I use it to skin the rabbits you catch and to cut the kindling we need to set up camp.” Then he stabbed the knife hard into the ground. “This same knife could kill.”

 

“Not with you on the other end of it,” Arthur mocked, pulling the knife from the ground and brushing off the dirt.

 

“I think that is how magic is,” Merlin finished. “It is a tool.”

 

They sat in silence for awhile. Merlin holding his breath at this entire exchange. Arthur, he assumed, was mulling things over. “Arthur, we must take the prophecy seriously.”

 

“The Disir didn’t say anything about a prophecy, or a druid,” Arthur said. “Where did you hear this, Merlin?”

 

From a large and annoying cryptic dragon. “I may have read something in one of Gaius's books.”

 

“Is this the reliable source? Why didn't you tell me of this before?”  
  


Merlin shrugged, reached over for his knife and put it back into his pack. What could he say?

 

“You obviously believe it’s very important, Merlin. Important enough to let Mordred die.”

 

He felt Arthur's gaze hard on him.

 

“Is this why you don’t like Mordred? You always seem so prickly around him. I couldn’t figure it out.”

 

“Knowing he is destined to kill you didn’t give us much hope of being friends. I don’t know. He seems...a bit cagey.”

 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Yes, especially when he leapt in front of that arrow to save me.” The king stood and walked back to his bedroll and sat down.

“Let’s set the prophecy theory aside for the moment,” he continued. “And remember what the Disir actually _did_ say.”

 

Merlin stretched his legs out on his bedroll and tried to recall. He had been so focused on stopping Mordred after talking to Kilgharrah...he couldn’t quite think. Something about saving the kingdom. “They said they were the mouthpiece of the Triple Goddess.”

 

“Right. They said they weren’t judging me, she was. But they also said I needed to embrace the old ways in order to save all that was dear to me...I clearly remember that part... and to save my kingdom and stop the destruction of Camelot and the end of my reign.”

 

Merlin stilled. How had he forgot these words and what did they mean? Unless Arthur embraced magic, he would lose his kingdom and life? Of course, not everything was always at it seemed in the Old Religion.

 

“If I continue with the way things are,” Arthur interrupted his thoughts. “Then, according to them, I will lose everything, including my life.”

 

Merlin stared over at him. Yes, that is what they said. “But if Mordred lives, he will be able to...” At Arthur’s expression Merlin trailed off.

 

“We don’t know that, Merlin.It’s probably some weird folk story or the ravings of some curmudgeon of a sorcerer. Why would they ask me to accept magic, let Mordred live only to let him kill me?”

 

Merlin stared intensely into the fire trying to figure this out. Yes. Why would they...

 

“I think we should just ask them.”

 

Merlin’s head snapped up. “What?”

 

“When we return in the morning, we’ll ask them about Mordred. If they “know all”, then they should know about this too, right?”

 

Merlin blinked. And blinked again. It did actually seem sensible to ask the Disir. “What will you tell them? About the magic?” he asked.

 

Arthur leaned forward looking right into Merlin's eyes. “I have to do everything I can to save Camelot, my people and my knight.” Merlin’s breath hitched. “I will tell them yes. Now, let's go to sleep.” Arthur laid back and covered himself with his cloak.  
  
  


**********

 

When they entered the cave the next morning, The Disir were standing behind the sacred pool waiting for them.

 

“You have returned,” the voice from under the cloak said. “Is your decision made?”

 

Arthur stepped forward. “It is. I have decided to do as you ask. I would like to create a kingdom where all people are protected regardless of faith and abilities. But, I'm worried about how to accomplish this peacefully. Magic has caused havoc and misery in my lifetime, yet I want to step out of the shadow of hatred and fear... I’m not sure how.”

 

“A wise decision Arthur Pendragon,” a female voice said. “It is time for the golden age of peace.”

 

Arthur stood waiting for what Merlin assumed was more instruction than their vague words. When none came he asked, “What do you know of a prophecy that a druid will kill me, or this Once at Future King? Is Sir Mordred this druid?”

 

There was a small silence and then, “The prophecy is only one path, the path of destruction for turning away from the old ways.”

 

“Since you have chosen different, you are now walking a new path, Once and Future King.”

 

Merlin clenched his jaw and balled his fists. He had only to steer Arthur toward magic for this prophecy to be dissolved. It was his role after all, as Emrys and he had failed. It had taken Mordred, the one destined to be his end, to make this happen. He breathed out, releasing his worked up magic. The Disir must have felt it for they turned toward him.

 

“What help can you offer to make this transition back to the old ways,” Arthur asked.

 

One of the Disir chuckled. “You need no help from us.”  
  


“You already have what you need.”  
  


“Emrys will guide you.”

 

Merlin froze as the three wise oracles pointed towards him. Arthur turned slowly to look at him, narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow. Merlin knew guilt and panic was all over his face and the tips of his ears were burning. He made a tiny shrugging motion and Arthur sighed.

 

“Yes, Emrys...Of course,” Arthur said. He bowed to the Disir, tugged on Merlin’s arm and steered him out of the cave.

 

When they emerged into the morning sunlight, Arthur retrieved his sword from where it was stuck in the ground, slid it into its scabbard, and started walking toward the camp.  
  
Merlin hesitated for a moment, but when Arthur shouted back over his shoulder, “It's a good thing we have a long way back to Camelot,” he rushed to catch up and walk beside his king. Arthur turned to look at him, “It seems you’ve got a lot more to tell me.”

 

-end

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> To me this was one of the most heartbreaking of all the episodes. I was sure Merlin would reveal himself over their firelight talk. Looking back, it did seem to seal Arthur's fate for the rest of the season. For this fest, I wanted to stir things up a bit and also - did anyone in that cave actually hear what the Disir said in the cave??? 
> 
> Also.. some of the words Arthur said about not being sure magic is evil was taken from the Season 4 outtakes-his (DELETED ugh) conversation with Gwen about using magic to heal his father. Um.. so it’s canon in my book.
> 
> Ok, hope you enjoy my take and twist on this story.  
> Would love your comments and kudos if you do.


End file.
